Saturday, January 22, 2011

Chris Berman's Nicknames

ESPN announcer Chris Berman enjoys making puns out of sports figures' names [many of them baseball]. Here is the DEFINITIVE list:


A
René Kook Arocha
Tony Brothers in Armas
Scott Respect Your Aldred
Brady Bunch Anderson
Shawn Lil' Abner
Rick See Ya Later Aguilera
Juan Real Agosto
Steve Ebony and Avery
Mike You're in Good Hands with Allstott
Luis Alicea in Wonderland
Joey Cask Of Amalfatano
Rich Protect Your Car With Amaral
Mike Enough Aldretti
Bill Almon Joy
Roberto Remember the Alomar
Doyle Brandy Alexander
Dana Allison Wonderland
Joaquin the Dog Andujar
Paul Orville Assenmacher
Jim Hey Abbott
Oscar Azocar Named Desire
Steve Poison Avery
Jesus Skip To My Alou
David Green Akers
B
Pedro Borbon Street
Bernardo Brito Supreme
Jeff Pin the Tail on the Bronkey
Mike April Blowers
Bud Paint It Black
Rafael Good Day at the Old Belliard
Jay Ferris Buhner
Scott Tallulah Bankhead
Joe Leave It to Boever
Bruce Bochy Ball
Bert Be Home Blyleven
George Taco Bell
Greg Life Of Briley
Mike Private Benjamin
Dave Ingmar Bergman
Jason Raspberry Bere
Ron Chevy Blazier
Jesse Belly Up to the Barfield
Bruce Eggs Benedict
Barry Savings Bonds
Rod Beck Beck Beck Beck Beck
Scott Milton Bradley
Todd Mercedes Benzinger
Lance You've Sunk my Blankenship
Kevin Small Mouth Bass
Billy Lima Beane
Wade Cranberry Boggs
Dave Burba Shave
Bret Barberie Coast
Daryl Please Come to Boston
Britt Third Degree Burns
Hubie Babbling Brooks
Greg Crocodile Brock
Ryan Bowen Arrow
Jeff Brown Paper Bagwell
Ricky Bad to the Bones
Mark Beetle Bailey
Marty Grin and Barrett
Floyd Up and Down the Bannister
Tim Humphrey Bogard
Ricky Signing Bones
Bobby Bad To The Bonilla
Scott Am Brosius
Randy Burning Bush
Craig Matinee at the Biggio
Pat South of the Borders
Dante Inferno Bichette
Esteban Bats In the Beltre
Jeff See Through Blauser
Harold Growing Baines
Tom Lightning Bolton
Andy the Merchant of Benes
John Charcoal Burkett
Tom Here's a Story of a Man Named Brady
Damon Blue Berryhill
Bill Bubble Bath
Ross I Never Promised You A Baumgarten
Stan Belinda Carlisle
Pat Side Burns
Scott Supercalifragilisticexpiala Brosius
Matt Son Of A Beech
Juan Less Bell to Answer
Carlos One if by Land, Two if Baerga
Eric Sleeping with Bienemy
Andy Merchant of Benes
Jerome You Better You Better You Bettis
Matt Werewolves of Blundin
Mike Room and Bordick
Rob My Bironas
C
Ron Born in the US Cey
David Sili Cone
Todd Caribbean Cruz
Greg Life Is a Cadaret
Pat OK Corrales
Ivan Bubbling Calderon
Wil Bungee Cordero
Mark Clark Bar
Jose Can You See Canseco
Steve Kentucky Fried Chitren
Tom Cotton Candiotti
Mark Carreon My Wayward Son
Henry Ava Cotto
Mark Crystal Clear
Sylvester Swallows Return to Campusano
Ken Get Off My Cloude
Danny Van Clyburn
Dave Vodka Collins
Joey Alba Cora
Royce A Roni Clayton
Gene Lamont Cranston
Ty Corn on the Cobb
Ken Helmet Caminiti
Dennis Short Order Cook
Jeff Conine the Barbarian
Steve Short Order Cooke
Scott Little Deuce Cooper
Joe Sergeant Carter
Chuck Creme de la Crim
Cris If I Were a Carpenter
Mike Cameron Swayze
My Cousin Vinny Castilla
Chuck Baby You Can Drive My Carr
Golden Archi Cianfrocco
Dave Clark Five
Francisco Umbilical Cordova
Tim Pablo Crews
Casey Sixteen Candaele
Bob Sister Christian
Jose Can You See Cruz
Ben Winter Coates
Hey You Get Off of Mike Cloud
Matt White Cassel
Chris Cab Calloway
Larry Self Centers
D
Kal Jack Daniels
Rob Bomba Deer
Rich Dotson 280z
Mike Well Dunne
Leon Bull Durham
Delino Decoconut Deshields
Bill Doran Duran
Bo Buenos Diaz
Jim 2 Silhouettes on Deshaies
Eye of the Storm Davis
Bill Hello Dawley
Jeff Dedmon Don't Wear Plaid
Dan Salad Dreissen
Jim Washer and Dwyer
Mariano Slam Duncan
Ron My Darling
Eric the Red Davis
Brian Number 10 Downing Street
Ken Fix or Repair Dayley
Rob Acey Ducey
Danny Darwin Theory
Red Hot Chili Davis
Jody Davis Eyes
Carlos In Delgado Da Vida
Rob Double Dibble
Kelly Churchill Downs
Carlos Daylight Come and Delgado Go Home
Omar Barbie Daal
E
Cecil Espy N
Dave No Man is an Eiland
Lee Elia Kuryakin
Dave Right Engel
Tom East of Edens
Damion It Don't Come Easley
Joey Bette Davis Eischen
Juan Re Encarnacion
F
Jim Bela Fregosi
Steve A Bridge Too Farr
Steve Chariots of Fireovid
Mike Horse Fetters
Brett Favre Ngugen
Felix the Cat Fermin
Rollie Chicken Fingers
Bob Air Forsch
John Generalissimo Francisco Franco
Scott Fletcher Christian
Curt Model T Ford
Todd Which Hand Does He Frohwirth
Hector Sizzling Fajardo
Steve Huckleberry Finley
Mike Center Felder
Monty Farris Wheel
Tony Prehistoric Fossas
Chuck Dorsal Finley
Smokin' Lou Frazier
Jeff French Frye
Cliff Pink Floyd
Marvin Philadelphia Freeman
Kevin Linoleum Flora
Jay Fiedler on the Roof
A J Touchy Feeley
Jay See Me Feely
Barry Bananas Foster
Jeff Philadelphia Feagles
G
Greg Gagne with a Spoon
Andres the Giant Gallaraga
Fettucini Alfredo Griffin
Mark Amazing Grace
Mike Leggo Gallego
Tom Heard it Through the Glavine
Mark Federal Grant
Jose Mother Guzman
Tony Gwynn and Bear It
Mark Chauncey Gardner
Don Down the Gullet
Dwight Gooden Plenty
Tux Cito Gaston
Dan Man from Gladden
Bernard Innocent Until Proven Gilkey
Johnny Pass the Grubb
Juan Speedy Gonzales
Tom Flash Gordon
Jim Gott the Win
Ron Extrava Gant
Mark Woody Guthrie
Brent Rusty Gates
Jason Giambi Jack Flash
Nomar Mr. Nice Guy Garciaparra
Juan Going Going Gonzales
Joe Grahe Flannel
Ben Good Grieve
Rich Loose Gannon
Bobby Seven Year Gritch
Tony Gwynn One for the Gipper
Chris Gwynn the Eskimo
Andrew Ski Glover
H
Jay Thurston B. Howell III
Mel Carnegie Hall
Jeff Going Back To Huson
Tommy Ben Herr
Lamarr Where Does It Hoyt
Dave Harry and the Henderson
Von Purple Hayes
Danny Uriah Heep
Mike Heath Bar
Tom Dirty Henke
Kent Buy a Vowel Hrbek
Jeff Hamilton Joe Frank and Reynolds
Bruce Patty Hurst
Glenn Old Mother Hubbard
Charles Moscow on the Hudson
Tim Hulett Packard
Chris Mr. Haney
Neal Heaton and Air Conditioning
Chris Hammond Cheese
Vince Four Horsman
Pete Harnisch Racing
Brian Deer Hunter
Glenallen Strawberry Hill
Peter Chips A Hoy
Ron Tala Hassey
Toby Last Harrah
Darryl Green Eggs And Hamilton
Todd Highway to Helton
Tom Henke Panky
Art and Howe
Sam Little Big Horn
John Habyan Corpus
Ah Ah Az Hakim
I
Dane Clockwork Iorg
J
Bo Diddley Jackson
Dion Bartles and James
Felix Do You Know the Way to San Jose
Brook Jacoby Wan Kenobi
Wally Absorbine Joyner
Stan Javier Self A Merry Little Christmas
Temple Bethel Johnson
Doug Along Came Jones
Dave Supreme Court Justice
Jeff Mick Jeager
K
John I Am Not a Kruk
Bob Yom Kipper
Mike The Man Who Would Be Kingery
Jimmy Francis Scott Key
Dana Field Goal Kiecker
Chuck New Kids on Knoblauch
Eric Burger King
Ron Ma and Pa Kittle
Joe Colonel Klink
Darryl Gomer Kile
Eric Karros Matic
Jon Kitna Kaboodle
Dan Erie Kanell
L
Jim Saturday Night LeFebvre
Chet Bitter Lemon
Mike Car 54 Lavalliere
Steve Lake Michigan
Dennis Fluorescent Lamp
Tim Praise the Laudner
Scott Lay Lady Leius
Jim Frito Leyritz
Bill One if by Landrum
Jeff Sugar Ray Leonard
Vance Common Law
Al Cigarette Leiter
Rick Innocent Lysander
Urbano Renewal Lugo
John Tonight Let It Be Lowenstein
Mark Bud Leiter
Pat Pencil Thin Listach
Keith June Lockhart
Ed Merrill Lynch
Steve Detroit Lyons
Rudy Mother In Law
Jose Lind Cuisine
Craig Def Lefferts
Scott Livingstone, I Presume
Davey Canta Lopes
Mark Get Back Loretta
Steve Lyons And Tigers And Bears, Oh My
Gene Meadow Larkin
Kerry Leather And Lacy
Don't Walk Away René Lachemann
Sean Personal Landeta
Al Fruit Of Levine
M
John Holy Moses
Me and Willie McGee
Eddie Eat Drink and be Murray
Kevin No Maas
Jose Flying Melendez
Paul Molitor and the Merrimac
Candy Man Maldonado
Darryl Motley Crue
Oddibe Young Again McDowell
Joe Magrane Headache
Kent Magic Mercker
Fred McGriff the Crime Dog
Mike Mason Jar
Greg Appa Maddux
Kirt What Was That Manwaring
Shane Fleetwood Mack
Dave Mary Magadan
Don Welcome Mattingly
Dave Vodka Martinez
Big Ben MacDonald
Pat Mahomes Where the Heart is
José Costa Mesa
Greg Mathe Maddux
Bob Melvin and the Blue Notes
Juan Field Marichal
Jeff Praying Manto
Damon All Mashore That's Going Mashore
Brent Remember the Mayne
Rick Junk Mahler
Kevin Sing Along with Mitchell
Eating Raul Mondesi
Captain Kirk McCaskill
Steve After Dinner Mintz
Angel In the Morning Miranda
Brian 12 Year Moehler
James Teenage Mouton Ninja Turtles
Orlando I Am Merced
Mike Loggins and Mussina
Pedro Harvest Munoz
Curtis My Favorite Martin
Josh Tears of McCown
Mark Eve of Destruction McGwire
Roger Chocolate Maltbie
Mike After Dinner Minter
Chris One Bad Ma'afalla
Natrone Refried Means
N
Matt No Nokes
Paul Buenos Noce
Reid Buffalo Nichols
Gene Full Nelson
Tim Golden Nehring
Edgar High Nunez
Dan Nick Naulty
Robb The Flying Nen
Jon Get Thee To A Nunnally
O
John Orton Hears a Who
Johnny Quaker Oates
Gregg Olson Golden
Alex Ochoa Gesundheit
Al Osuna or Later
Sandis Ozolinsh that stole Christmas
Ron Roller Oester
Steve Vi Olin
P
Tom Goodnight Sweet Prince
Jim Car Poole
Rafael Emerson Lake and Palmiero
Jim Hanky Pankovits
Ted Tower of Power
Ken Good Evening Mr. Phelps
Mark Trans Parent
Terry Swimming Puhl
Terry Pit and the Pendleton
Eric Ker Plunk
Joe Actual Retail Price
Dave Parallel Parker
Bill Veal Pecota
Mike Onion Pagel
Melido Shuffle Perez
Don Whiter Shade of Pall
Tony Jala Pena
Phil the Final Plantier
Chan Ho 3 Com Park
Robert Missing Person
Mike Pepperoni Piazza
Jorge Carne Posada
Jeff Juden Priest
Vicente Buckingham Palacios
Bill Liquid Plummer
Luis Ap Polonia
Albert Winnie the Pujols
Ricky Proehl Shampoo
Carl Slim Pickens
Arquimedez Principle Pozo
Q
Jamie Men at Quirk
R
Dave Prince Righetti
Randy Ready or Not
Jerry Rolls Reuss
Bobby Tokyo Rose
Kevin Reimer Reason
Dave Rohde Runner
Tim Purple Raines
Johnny Manta Ray
Craig Reynolds Wrap
Gary Redus a Bedtime Story
Jim Pork Fried Rice
Cookie Days of Wine and Rojas
Vern Golden Ruhle
Luis Buick Rivera
Bruce Two Minutes for Ruffin
José Blame It On Rijo
Andre Bad Moon Rison
Kevin Ritz Cracker
Wally Lionel Ritchie
Bryan Rekar Named Desire
Kirk Weekly Rueter
Who Framed Roger Ruzek
Jerry Minute Rice
S
B J And the Bear Surhoff
Joe Slusarski and Hutch
Pete Raise Your Hand if You're Schourek
Gary Sheffield of Dreams
Bill Per Spiers
Todd Aris Stottlemyre
Tim Sockeye Salmon
Gary Sheffield Of Dreams
Heathcliff Slocumb if ya got 'em
Mark Tossed Salas
Steve Alto Sax
Craig Brewer and Shipley
Rafael Evil Ways Santana
Joel Mule Skinner
John When Irish Eyes are Smiley
Eric Win Place or Show
Larry Satin Sheets
Mike Great Scott
Darryl Strawberry Shortcake
Mike Pre Schooler
Bob Ice Station Sebra
Billy Free Sample
Tom Leave it to Seaver
Jeff Wine Sellers
Juan Play it Again Samuel
Rick Really Big Schu
James Easter Steels
Ed Ocean Sprague
Doug People Are Strange
Sammy Say it Isn't Sosa
Mario Scotch and Soto
Bill Beer Stein
Bruce Three Piece Sutter
Kevin Alka Seitzer
Ruben High Sierra
Mike Nova Scioscia
Scott Room Servais
Chris Church Speier
Paul Veal Sorrento
Buck Showalter Raleigh
Mario Speedwagon Soto
Tim Spehr Tire
Franklin Ticket Stubbs
Reggie Colonel Sanders
Lance Sargeant Schulters
T
John Private Tudor
Steve Rainbow Trout
Andres Doubting Thomas
Manny Kingston Trillo
Fred Toliver Twist
Alan Have Gun Will Trammell
Pat Pick Up the Tabler
Frank Tanana Daquiri
Mark Fall Of The House Of Tauscher
Kevin Spinal Tapani
Dickie Mara Thon
Jim Home Thweet Thome
Mike Miami Tice
Tony Tarasco Sauce
Jim Thome Can You Hear Me?
Michael Turner Overdrive
George Iced Teague
Ground Control to David Toms
Amani It's Not A Toomer
U
José Game Winning Uribe
John Stick It In Urrea
Ugueth What You Pay For Urbina
V
Bobby Be My Valentine
Ozzie Like A Virgil
Frank 101 Strings Viola
Dave Death Valle
Robin Ventura Highway
Todd Smack Crackle VanPoppel
Andy Dick Van Slyke
W
Butch Oil and Wynegar
Gary Hospital Ward
Mitch The Devil and Daniel Webster
Jeff Montgomery Ward
Walt Three Blind Weiss
Craig For What It's Worthington
Todd We Are the Worrell
Tim Eli Wallach
Vince Workman My Way Back to You
Mark Bay City Wohlers
Don Pop Werner
Kerry Norwegian Wood
John Teenage Wetteland
John Hia Wathan
Jeff Dream Weaver
Bob Intentional Walk
Duane Psycho Ward
X
Y
Rich Not Ready Yett
Matt Forever Young
Z
Ray Wine Zellers
Greg The Wrath Of Zahn
Todd Good Housekeeping Zeile
Eric Light My Ziere


3 comments:

Unknown said...

Great list, but you absolutely must make room on it for Oddibe Young Again McDowell.

Mike Dougherty said...

I agree. That was one of the great ones.

Unknown said...

I like Dean Arnold Palmer one of my faves is Junior Felix became Senor Felix